The Coffee break. 7 August 2014.
Let us have a bit of fun today and rant a bit about drivers who cannot see past the ends of their noses and whose conduct is unbecoming of a civilized individual. This will be written in letter format, and will be for entertainment purposes as well as to blow off some steam. Course language and the likes will NOT be featured in this piece so it is completely child-safe (if you even let your young ones read this stuff). Anyways folks enjoy today’s “creative” piece, and I shall see you next time.
Dear Driver of (insert vehicle here);
Do you not see the pedestrian crossing the road? Does the colour red not mean ‘stop’ to you? Are you so stuffed in your own coffee, make-up and personal life that you forget that the road is used by all people? Well driver, you are worse than a pile of animal feces. Allow me to compare you to this pile of feces and instill a sense of disgust I have for your kind: yes you do form a separate species from the rest of humanity for you do not behave like civilized people.
People dislike feces: it stinks, it is gross to touch, and it blocks the way in the case of dog remains and the likes. You are such material: forged from the wastes of humanity, you drive along the avenues of the world honking and harassing – occasionally raising the finger to people – and yet you never stop to think that people ignore you because you are a pile of animal waste. Oh how I envy you: so full of waste and remains; unburdened by things like intelligence, civility, duty, honour, and so on. Us paragons of civilization will continue on without you, so you might as well turn yourself into the God-Emperor’s hands early, and feed the worms that do a lot more work than you will ever do in your – sadly – lengthy life cycle.
When a war breaks out, or a famine, or strife and turmoil, you will begin to steal, rape, and disregard all forms of order in favour of yourself. When things become dire, you will stuff yourself silly while your own daughter is taken from you to be used as breeding material for bandits and the likes: as I said, cannot see past the end of your nose.
That is alright though, I fully expect you to turn on your own loved ones: had little hope for a degenerate creature such as yourself. Perhaps one day you will – no. Forget what I said, you will never learn, nor will you ever begin to learn – or attempt to learn. The effort is just too much for your soft, rotten, maggot-filled brain – I pity you.
Now please keep driving fast: a Chinese woman once told me the faster you turn that corner, the faster you will see the gravestone.
Sigmar curse you,