Wednesday musings – the Coffee Break. 2 Nov 2016.
Yes, Halloween is over – no more annoying costumes and no more-
Oh wait, Christmas music is playing…
Yes indeed folks, we are now dealing with Christmas decorations in stores already – talk about rushing to sell, aye? Now you readers from the US have not had your Thanksgiving yet either so that must be a rather annoying situation to tackle. Coupled with the election and Black Friday where stores will be packed as usual you will feel warn out and just do not want to continue on. While I do not have any sort of remedy to help you with these strange upcoming events, perhaps a bit of humor is in order – lighten up the mood a little.
Battlefield 1 has a war pigeon mode; so we capture a bird, write a message (without getting shot and looted by the enemy) and throw it into the air and hope it doesn’t get shot like game out in the country – great. Sure I get it world war 1 had birds deliver orders, but as a game mode it’s weird, very weird. This reminds me of the Empire pigeon bomb available to the Empire army in Warhammer fantasy back when there were armies and not units like in Age of Sigmar (you can still build an “army” but they are no longer required to remain solely Empire or Chaos). How the rules worked was the Empire Engineer could equip the pigeon bomb, and using a D6 you rolled to see what the pigeon would do: a 1 or a 2 it would return to the user and blow up on them forcing the model to take an armour save, on a 3 or a 4 it would blow up in mid-air, on a 5 or a 6 it would go to the target and blow them up forcing them to take an armour save. This sort of unreliable tech was somewhat common in the Empire as they were using primitive gunpowder weaponry and had some really wacky devices such as the Hellfire Missile battery which looked like a cart stuffed with fireworks (the pointy ones) and armed with explosives.
Now just like one Youtuber noted, Battlefield 1 can be best described in three words: “GAS GAS GAS!!!” Figures, right? The amount of gas tossed around in-game is enough to make the actual deployment of gas look like an experiment at best. Every match, every time someone throws a grenade it is going to be a gas grenade (frag grenades are generally saved for tanks – generally). When this occurs you might as well run around with the gas mask on 24/7 and hip fire at everything, makes life easier and you can focus on bayoneting the enemy instead of charging at them and while finishing them off the gas finishes you off (yessss my dears, BREATHE!).
Oh I just thought of the perfect loadout: the Martini-Henry rifle, a Webley Revolver, gas grenades and an entrenching tool as a melee weapon – you will break the stalemate of trench warfare with this mighty outdated firearm and gas! Yes, do it folks do it now – this is an order (not really, but hey if you want to take this random, out-of-the-blue suggestion then by all means – record the gameplay and upload it to Youtube as evidence that it is the boss loadout and make every player jealous enough to ditch their logic to embark on this quest of insanity)!
Alright that’s enough of this nonsense – hopefully you found that entertaining. Feel free to check out our Patreon page if you wish to support us, and don’t forget to bookmark this in your browser for updates – see you next time.